The College Whisperer™ | Navigating The Road To College

Forlorn? Depressed? Inconsolable?

Read this article by journalist and author Joan Didion on being denied admission to Stanford in 1952. As timely today as it was when first published in 1968!

On Being Unchosen By The College of One's Choice

Cheer up. Your very best days are yet to come! :-)

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™.

Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . .

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Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success ™ are Trademarks of COLLEGE CONNECTION.  The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are planning for college, applying to college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege 

 

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Since the advent of the college Net Price Calculator, parents and students alike, having pretty much figured out which colleges are good fits, are still walking around in that proverbial fog when it comes to figuring out the true cost of college, let alone comparing the cost of college A to college B.

Yes, the College Scorecard helps a bit, but can we say that the fog has actually lifted?

Enter the latest tool in the effort to find the "best" college, calculate and compare costs, and determine the odds of graduating in four years. The Chronicle of Higher Education brings us College Reality Check.

Here, you can unmuddy the waters, if just a bit, by assessing the real value of that college degree.

Of course, that old "Return On Investment" cannot -- and should not -- be measured in terms of dollars and cents alone. There's the intrinsic value of college in learning for learning's sake. The value of opening young minds, as well as opening doors. The value of lifelong friendships and partnerships. And, let's not forget the value of that taco at the college food court.

A perfect tool for the college-bound? Of course not. Still, College Reality Check should be introduced to your college toolbox as you plan and prepare to set off on the long, winding, and especially awesome road to college.  

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™.

Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . .

* * *
Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success ™ are Trademarks of COLLEGE CONNECTION.  The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are planning for college, applying to college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege

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"At South Side Middle School in Rockville Centre, on Long Island, more than half of the eighth-grade class, 134 out of 260 students, opted out of the exams..." So reported The New York Times in an article on New York's standardized English Language Arts (ELA) exam for third and eighth graders. [Standardized Math exams are scheduled for next week.]

The protests, certainly not restricted to Rockville Centre, Long Island, or, for that matter, New York, are not so much aimed at the so-called Common Core curriculum -- a standardized design for upping the ante in Math and English Language Arts (though this, too, is suspect) -- but rather, what has become a culture of teaching to the test, for the test, and about the test.

The concern, and one that is not entirely unfounded, is that as teachers spend their time preparing students to take (and hopefully, excel at) the standardized tests, they do so at the expense of actually teaching so that students will learn.

Learning for learning's sake -- to inspire a passion for creative and logical thought -- becomes the forsaken stepchild of "teaching" skills associated with preparing for test after test after test. The joy of learning, that which should be the very foundation of a child's education, supplanted by fear and anxiety. The merits of classroom-based tests and evaluations, true and accurate measures of a student's progress, displaced by one-size-fits-all megatests, merely measuring how well a student will do on that particular exam.

The theory that increased standardized testing will somehow raise the educational bar has been widely debated, and largely dispelled. Rarely do such broad-based standardized exams demonstrate either a proficiency or an aptitude. [Witness the Scholastic Achievement Test, which morphed into the Scholastic Aptitude Test, and is now in the process of taking on yet another, no doubt similiarly sinister incarnation.]

And yet, we seem to be a nation bent of testing more while teaching less.

No doubt, there is a place, and a real value, to testing students' skills and mindsets. But how much testing -- particularly standardized testing -- is simply too much? Have we lost sight of the very essence of what an education is all about? A love of learning. A lifelong quest to gain knowledge. The ability to observe, to question, to explore, to truly think, and not merely within the confines of a diminutive oval.

Has testing become de facto bullying by a system that seems prone to cut off its own nose in spite of its face? Are we no longer testing performance, but rather, endurance?

Regents exams. ELAs. Math achievement tests. PSATs. SATs. SAT IIs. ACTs. Why, back in the day the City of New York administered standardized exams known as the Iowa Tests, leading this blogger to wonder, "Do they take New York tests in Iowa?"

There has long been a dialogue, even a vociferous debate, over the pros and cons of standardized testing. From FairTest.org to TimeOutFromTesting.org, a grassroots movement of sorts has now spread not only to the parent on the street but, moreover, to the student in the classroom.

Refreshing. For change in the way we conduct ourselves in this society rarely comes from the top down. The establishment is too entrenched and, typically, too monied, to either desire to alter the landscape, let alone to mow the lawn.

The mission in education must be to cultivate that love of learning, from pre-K, through college, and throughout one's life. Testing students ad nauseum, to the point of absurdity, is a hindrance to that critical effort, not a help.  The stakes are far too high to permit standardized tests to jeopardize learning for the very sake of learning itself.

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™.

Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . .

* * *
Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success ™ are Trademarks of COLLEGE CONNECTION.  The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are planning for college, applying to college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege 

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Boston and New York have always shared a special kinship. Sure, at times it seems like a bitter rivalry. Who will be the best? Which is number one? Yankees vs. Red Sox. South Street Seaport vs. Quincy Market. NYC Marathon vs. the Boston Marathon.

Beneath this nearly transparent tit-for-tat, though, is that which we have come to embrace in common bond. A profound sense of place, as thriving centers of finance, culture, education and civility. An abiding sense of self, ever vigilant but never fearful. An enduring sense of freedom, often put to the test, but just you try to dampen its spirit. Not on Patriots Day. Not ever.

We, the good people of New York and Boston, share that common decency. That concern for one another, for the well-being of our fellow man, that which finds us, invariably, running toward danger, to aid and assist, rather than away. That feeling in our collective gut, when senseless acts tear at our hearts, while our heads command us to walk on. We share the pain, the sorrow, the loss, the horror, and then, somehow, with whatever strength we can muster, we clear away the debris, rise from the rubble, and demonstrate remarkable resilience.

Today, wherever we may call home, we are all Bostonians. Standing tall, we go on living, believing, dreaming, and, yes, running in marathons, never cowering, never giving in, never surrendering that which defines our character, our courage, and our compassion, even in the face of unspeakable inhumanity.
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From The Boston Globe: Runners and supporters share a bond of trust


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Choosing that "perfect" college -- whether to apply or to attend -- is no easy task. The College Whisperer™ offers some advice on how to find the college that's best for you. 

Lily Herman, college student at Wesleyan University and Co-Founder of The Prospect, writes:   

What do you think is the most important thing for a student to look at when choosing a college? Or, what's an important aspect that many students don't look at or think about but they should?  

The College Whisperer™ responds:

There truly is no single factor that can -- or, for that matter, should -- be determinative when deciding on a college. Typically, there will be a good number of reasons for a student to select a college, as well as rational reasons for the student to say, "that college is not for me."

Just what makes the perfect fit? Well, what will be one student's treasure may well be another's trash, so to speak. To some, it's all about the academics. Programs that align with one's career goals. Professors who are accessible (and speak English :-). To others, it may be the diversity of courses, or the diversity of students. Some vie for that tranquil campus setting of rolling hills and open spaces, while others prefer the city as campus. That small, quaint college life, or the large, bustling campus primed for the NCAA's Final Four.

Could it be the food in the dining halls? The dorm rooms? Greek life? Every student is unique, and so, each student's perspective on what makes the perfect college fit is different.

Then too, there's the matter of finances. "Can I afford to attend that college? Will my financial aid needs be met? Are there scholarships available, and how do I go about applying for them?"

What should not be determinative is, perhaps, easier to categorize.

Rankings, for instance. Fun to look at and to analyze, yet virtually meaningless when it comes to deciding which college will be a good fit for YOU.

Then there's the old popularity contest. The "I want to go where all my friends are going." Reminds me of a student I counseled several years back who only wanted to go to the University of Wisconsin. "Why?," I inquired. "Do you like cheese." "No," he responded, quizzically. "Do you like extremely cold winters?," I shot back. "No," he said, becoming impatient. "Do you like bad politics?," I asked, knowing this would go right over his head. He looked at me as if I had three eyes. "So why Wisconsin?," I asked with an inquisitive grin. To which my young charge replied, confidently, "Because all of my friends are applying there!"

Great story. Terrible reason for applying to a particular school.

College-bound students should sit themselves down, make a list -- or several -- of what they think they would like and not like about a college, as well as a list -- or several -- of colleges that more nearly fit the list of likes. [Yes, grades, scores and other such niceties must go into the mix, but we'll narrow our lists down to Target, Safety and Reach later.]

Then, by all means, visit the campus. First, virtually, via the college websites and online virtual tours (YouniversityTV.com and campustours.com, to name but two). Once you've narrowed your choices down further still, visit in person. Take a tour. Taste the food. Sit in on a class or two. Stay overnight in the dorms. Speak with students, parents, professors, administrators and alumni. Ask questions.

No idea where to begin your college search? Always best to start with you. Who you are. What you would like to become. Where you are comfortable. How far outside that comfort zone you're willing to travel.

Then, too, websites, such as College Board's The Big Future, CampusExplorer.com, and, of course, TheCollegeWhisperer.com, can be helpful.

Attend a local college fair, speak with your guidance counselor, and, by all means, have a conversation with friends and relatives already in college.

Students are often surprised to find that schools they thought would be among their top choices sometimes fall from grace once they start exploring the options. Suddenly, all things considered, they find themselves comfortable, and happy, at a college they may not have even thought about (or heard of) when they first began the search. Which is exactly the way it should be in deciding upon that perfect college!

P.S. That student who "only wanted to go to the University of Wisconsin," didn't. He visited in the dead of winter (sans cheese), and never bothered to apply. He is currently a most contented Junior at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, NY.

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™. Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . .
* * *
Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success ™ are Trademarks of COLLEGE CONNECTION.  The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are planning for college, applying to college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege 


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There are many women The College Whisperer™ knows -- and many more he does not -- who are tough as nails. Smart. Courageous. Undaunted by the most pressing challenges of our times.

Take Linda Flanagan. Ms. Flanagan is a freelance writer (frequently, at The Huffington Post), researcher, and editor, specializing in national security issues. Most recently she was Executive Editor for the HELP Commission, a federal body mandated to produce recommendations to reform foreign assistance. Before that, she worked on the design and development of a graduate seminar on business and national security at MIT’s Sloan School of Management. Ms. Flanagan also has produced case studies for the Defense Department’s Commission on Roles and Missions, and has provided editorial guidance to senior national security fellows at Harvard University. Ms. Flanagan was a national security analyst at the National Security Program, Harvard University, where she wrote case studies on defense and foreign relations.

Talk about strength. Bravado (bravada?). Tackling issues that would boggle minds of mere men head on.

Linda Flanagan is also a mom to three children. And while she can take on national security like no one else, there is still one thing that unnerves her -- the Achilles heel, if you will. The college admissions process.

Yes, in her skillfully drafted and appreciably endearing essay, There's No Rejecting The College Admissions Game, Ms. Flanagan expresses, with pathos and humor, what every parent feels when going through this heart-wrenching, mind-numbing, totally absurd charade that has become the college admissions game.

The unwarranted competitiveness. The insanity of the selection process. The crazy quilt of college applications. The absurdity of the SATs. And need we mention the waiting (if not the waitlisted) game?

Why, it's enough to make a national security expert, at ease with the realities of nuclear weapons and international crises, lose it all!

Calling college admissions a "referendum on your kid," Ms. Flanagan opines:

"My mind insists that this is foolish and insane, erroneous and unfair. The college admissions officers are not oracles. For all we know, the person reading your kid's app might have had an iffy chili taco at lunch, his dyspepsia tainting the prospects for everyone in his pile. And who says that attending an elite college is even the best outcome for our little darlings? They'll graduate thinking the world owes them something, at minimum a decent job, when in all likelihood they'll be lucky to work as office temps or unpaid interns, and disillusioned ones at that."
 
Ah, the frustration, of parents, of students, of college coaches and guidance counselors. We stopped letting kids be kids, and parents be parents. And we've turned what once-upon-a-time was a relatively simple, stress-free process of getting into college, as something akin to preparing for Armageddon.

And toward what end? As Ms. Flanagan so aptly puts it, in the penultimate passage of her piece, "...if we only look to the visible, ego-boosting measures of success to mark our progress, then we'll end up like that runner in the New Yorker cartoon who gallops across the finish line into the pearly gates of heaven, arms up in victory. I did it! I'm finally dead! Triumph and defeat, those mere imposters, distracting us from living while we're here on earth. "

Lucky to escape college admissions season (visions of that deer in the headlights come quickly to mind) unscathed, let alone accepted to a college that some bogus ranking tells us is the "best."

Going to college is usually a fun and exciting experience. Some call it the best four (eight?) years of their lives. Shouldn't getting into college, and the whole rigmarole students have to entertain along the way, be at least half as much fun?

Why have we made getting in to college such an uncomfortable chore, a burden, not only upon the financial resources of college-bound families, but upon our very sanity?

I say we forget about United Nations sanctions and international trade embargoes when it comes to trying to contain nuclear weapons. Why not just threaten the likes of Kim Jong Un and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with the SAT, the Common App, and, for good measure, CSS Profile and FAFSA? If that doesn't scare the dickens out of 'em, nothing will!

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™.

Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . . 

* * *
Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success ™ are Trademarks of COLLEGE CONNECTION.  The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are planning for college, applying to college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766 

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege Tweet

The New York Times published an article that caught The College Whisperer's™ eye -- actually, both eyes. Software Seen Giving Grades On Essay Tests.

Like something out of a Stanley Kubrick film, it seems the computer can not only read the essay, but score it and give immediate feedback to the writer. Wow!

Imagine that. Artificial intelligence, of the likes that places us in orbit and finds breakthroughs in medicine, reading and grading essays. [Is that a demotion for the computer, or what? Kinda like HAL taking over for Rosie, the maid on the Jetsons.]

Now, I'm not here to argue the virtues and vices of technology, in the classroom and far beyond. Still, there is something quite unsettling about a computer reading, analyzing and -- just the thought of it sends shivers up my spine -- grading the essay. As a prototype for honing the basic skills, perhaps. But what happens when that byte-sized hunk of junk starts reading and scoring the essay on the Common App? The writing section of the SAT? [I'm certain it already does, there being no humanity at College Board!] Your Ph.D. thesis? Your first attempt at a novel? Or, may the heavens forbid, our Tweets and blog posts?

Can artificial intelligence read emotion? Detect sarcasm? Be tickled in its funny-chip? If not today, then, no doubt, tomorrow.

But take heart, essayist everywhere. The computer is already one step ahead of you. Soon, it will not only be capable of reading and grading your essays, but of writing them as well.

We already live in a world where the art of communication -- both written and oral -- is being lost. But for the thumbs, which will never atrophy (some day, we will be "all thumbs," literally), conversation around the dinner table has been hijacked by an i-This or Android that. Even couples sitting in a restaurant can only communicate with one another via Twitter post. Schools no long teach script or handwriting. Long-hand has given way to keyboarding -- and now, even the days of the keystroke are numbered.

Technology has advanced our species in so many ways -- most for the better. And yet, I can't help but think that it has also immeasurably diminished the best parts of our humanity. Sorry, but I am simply not ready for an emoticon to replace a smile, or a computer-generated voice urging me to turn left at the intersection I just passed, to supplant the human voice saying, "have a wonderful day!"

EDITOR'S NOTE: No humans were harmed in the making of this blog post.

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™.

Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . .

* * *
Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success ™ are Trademarks of COLLEGE CONNECTION.  The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are planning for college, applying to college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766 

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege 


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Our good friend and most knowledgeable colleague, Randy Levin of WriteToCollege.com will be offering FREE (yes, we said FREE) workshops on writing that perfect college essay.

Believe me, The College Whisperer™, in the scheme of what's critical in the college application and admissions process, the college essay is right up there with the Common App and FAFSA. And when it comes to what to write on those college essays, and how to write it, few people can put it all together like Randy Levin. He's bright. He's innovative. He's got a great sense of humor and a fantastic sense of perspective. In short, he gets the college essay and the college-bound student.

For just the tip of the iceberg of what Randy has to offer on the college essay application front, check out his latest YouTube video. And to see Randy live (or as close as he can come to it :-) and in person, make note of his appearance at a public library near you:

May 16 – Merrick Library (Long Island)

May 21 – Harborfields Library (Long Island)

May 22-  Rockville Centre Library (Long Island) 

July 22 -  Bernardsville Library (NJ)  

Sept 17- Mount Pleasant (Westchester)

Sept 18 – Manhasset Library (Long Island)

Sept 23 – Bellmore Library (Long Island)

Sept 24 – Jericho Library (Long Island)

Sept 26 – Avon Library (CT)  

Oct 3 – Oceanside Library (Long Island)

Oct 7 – Maplewood Library (NJ)

Oct 10 – Leonia Library (NJ)

Oct 28 – Wantagh Library (Long Island)

For the particulars, contact Randy Levin at  917-450-9495 or by email at randylevin11@gmail.com. And be sure to tell him The College Whisperer™ sent you. [I don't get a kickback or a commission, but I do get a chuckle when he rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, did they release him from the asylum already?" Hey, it's always nice to help out a friend! ;-)]

Remember, for the soup to nuts of college applications and admissions, from college matching for that perfect fit, to finding the money to pay for college, contact College Connection, the Official Sponsor of College Admission Success and home of The College Whisperer™ . For that extra umph on your college essay, find Randy Levin at a library near you!

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The College Whisperer™ is the Trademark of COLLEGE CONNECTION, Official Sponsor of College Admission Success. The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are applying to college, planning for college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege


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College Connection, home of The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success™, is offering free, one (1) hour college planning consultations with an independent college counselor to Long Island’s veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan, and their immediate families. Services include college matching, admission strategies, the application process, essay development, as well as scholarship and financial aid sourcing.

Understanding the unique needs and special circumstances of returning veterans, and recognizing their focus, discipline and contributions to our nation as a potential assets on campus, College Connection hopes to encourage more veterans to take advantage of college opportunities by offering this free, no obligation consultation. Free college planning workshops are also available for veterans groups and organizations.

The one (1) hour consultation with a college planning advisor may take place in person (Nassau County only), by telephone, via Skype or email, and is offered to veterans without cost now through May 13, 2013.

To arrange for a free college planning consultation, veterans with proof of service (i.e., Honorable Discharge) should call College Connection at 516-345-8766, email us at info@CollegeConnect.info, or visit College Connection on the web at www.CollegeConnect.info.
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The College Whisperer™ and Official Sponsor of College Admission Success™ are trademarks of College Connection.


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Special to The College Whisperer™

Hot off the presses comes news of the most selective among the nation's highly selective colleges and universities.

Princeton? Nope. Harvard? Uh uh. Stanford, perhaps? Go fish!

No, this year's most selective college in America, hands down, is none other than Maza State, a small, liberal arts college in the town (formerly city) of Maza, North Dakota.

Ah yes. Maza State. Not on every student's tip of the Common App. Or any student’s, for that matter. And yet, in this quaint burb somewhere far removed from even the likes of Fargo, lies this college few (any?) have heard of, now atop the heap as America's most selective college.

Maza, ND. Population: 4. [The population was 5, as per the 2000 Census. Whatever happened to Uncle Zeke, anyway?] Home of Maza State College.

Maza State began its long and sometimes listless climb to selectivity back in 1863 as the Maza School. Founded by Quakers (shortly after they founded oats in Maza's vast fields of grain), the college rose to prominence when North Dakota was admitted to the Union back in 1889, President Benjamin Harrison delivering the commencement address. It was then he proclaimed, "What the heck do we need with two Dakotas, anyway?"

And just how did tiny Maza State get this coveted "most selective" accolade, asked The College Whisperer™?

"Simple," said Maza's Acting (he also chairs the Theater Department) Dean of Admissions, Harold Q. Pendermundt. "We simply refused to accept a single student."

Not a one? "Nope." Nobody? "Nada," yelled Pendermundt, proudly. "The Class of 2017 will have zero -- count 'em, nunca -- graduates. Oh, wait. There's Charlie Shmendriksonn, Martha's boy. He's been enrolled since twenty aught six. He may earn enough credits to graduate by then. Heh, heh..."

How many applicants did Maza State have, Dean? "Well, if you count my Nephew, Harnish -- he's five, but we let him play on Common App -- we had 3 Early Action, 15 Regular Decision, and 3246 that we diverted from the University of South Dakota."

Diverted? "Yup. They was stranded at the bus station in Vermillion, and we sent Elmer down in his 1964 Volkswagon Beetle to give 'em a ride to campus. Poor kids. We darn near had 'em believing that Maza State was the college they saw on the USD virtual tour, until the dust storm passed, dag nabbit."

And you didn't accept any of them? "No sir. Not even that smarty pants with the 2400 on the SAT."

Why not? "Marketing, young man. Marketing. How often does a small time college in a nothing of a town, smack dab in the middle of a state that no one wants to visit, let alone live in -- or get pregnant in, heh, heh --have the opportunity to claim that fifteen minutes of fame?"

So Maza State will have a freshman class of, er..... "Zero. That's right. Not a blessed soul to disturb the solitude of the tumbleweed as it meanders gently in the breeze across our beautiful campus. And just think. Without having all those silly essays to read, I had all the time in the world to Tweet... Well, until the Internet went down at Slocum's General Feed and Grain. Then it was five card stud every night."

So it must get pretty lonely at Maza State, Dean? "I'll say. Lucky we have that mule. And, of course, right here in our great State of North Dakota, we have such national treasures as Mount Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Memorial."

Um, that's South Dakota. "Well, you never mind that. Once our new Governor, Kim Jong Un, nukes those bastards, there'll only be one Dakota. And we'll get George McGovern out of the White House yet!"

So there you have it, folks. You heard it here first. Alert U.S. News & World Report. America's most selective college. Maza State. Let the applicants for the Class of 2018 beware!
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APRIL FOOLS :-) [With apologies to the great University of North Dakota.]

Plan. Prepare. Prevail!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™. Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . .
* * *
Comments? Questions for The College Whisperer™?
Write us at info@TheCollegeWhisperer.com

The College Whisperer™ is the Trademark of COLLEGE CONNECTION, Official Sponsor of College Admission Success. The road to college begins at COLLEGE CONNECTION! Whether you are applying to college, planning for college, paying for college or simply thinking about college, COLLEGE CONNECTION can help! Call TODAY for a FREE telephone consultation. 516-345-8766

For up-to-the-minute news, apps, info and insights on college applications, admissions, scholarships and just about everything college, follow The College Whisperer™ on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/GetCollege

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