Remember that children's game, Simon Says? If Simon didn't say it, and you did it anyway, you were out.

Well, looks like Simon has grown up, is ready to apply to college, and has become the poster boy of the folks who brought you the Common App.

Yes, boys, girls, and college applicants of all ages, here comes Simon Monks, fictitious test-student for CA4!

In a recent email, Common App announced Simon's debut:

Many of our CA4 resources will revolve around the story of Simon Monks, a fictitious applicant. Simon made his debut last week at our inaugural member conference and quickly became the darling of Twitter. Follow his journey (and learn more about CA4 in the process) at #GetSimonApplied.

"The darling of Twitter," eh? Never mind all of those other, and no less noteworthy, Simon Monks out there, including several already on Twitter. Watch the followers grow by the millions as Simon Monks attempts to go over the 650 word limit on his personal statement or tries to make payment before he submits his Supplements. 

Oh, we can hardly wait until Simon reveals whether he is of Hispanic origin? And will he be applying for financial aid?

Ah, yes. Simon Monks. Was he the fella running through the ballroom at the Common App member conference wearing nothing but a fez? Or maybe he is an international applicant from New Zealand or the UK? Do we "friend" this Simon Monks on Facebook? 

Surely, we jest! What The College Whisperer™ would really like to know is how Simon will take to the new Common App essay topics. What conceivable "background or story that is so central to (his) identity that (he) believe(s) (his) application would be incomplete without" could he possibly have? Will he be able to "recount an incident or time when (he) experienced failure" or "reflect on a time when (he) challenged a belief or idea?" 

No doubt, Simon will recall his introduction to the world at Common App's inaugural ball as he "describe(s) a place or environment where (he is) perfectly content." And what "an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked (his) transition from childhood to adulthood within (his) culture, community, or family" Simon could discuss. "Transition from childhood?" By golly, he transforms from a fictional icon to virtual reality before the very eyes of college admissions officers and Deans. He's in!

Speaking of fiction... Simon Monks is nothing less than creative genius on the part of the folks at Common App, who, along with the ivory tower set, have contributed so much to the creation of that zany world of make believe set far apart from reality, which we commonly refer to as the college application and admissions process.

You go, Simon. Just remember. You've got one shot at this college application gig. So don't flub your short answers, invert your social security number, forgo the Supplements, or forget your User Name. You are about to set the stage for every college-bound student who dares to venture into the wacky world of the Common App.

Good luck and Godspeed, Simon Monks!

Plan. Prepare. Prevail! 

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of The College Whisperer™. 

Who knows what peril lurks in the college application and admissions process? The College Whisperer™ knows. . . 
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